The secret of not worrying.

"The process is more important than the result. I am built upon the small things I do everyday. And the result is just a byproduct of it."

-Shinsuke Kita

I'm sure all of us have come across some variation of the above quote. I never gave it much thought though. It was just one of the many things which adults said when I was young. Something which didn't need further explanation and seemed like common sense. Of course the process is more important because that is the only thing which is in our control. Result is just a consequence of our actions. But I never really recognised how beneficial it is to constantly remember this and live by this principle.

There are a lot of things not in our control and there's no point worrying about them. But it is human nature to do so. For instance, we are affected by a single negative comment by some random person despite the hundreds of positive ones from people who actually matter. You can't stop people from talking about you or control what they say. Then why let it ruin your day? Just forget it happened and move on. There's no point breaking our heads over something which we can't do anything about.

But if we are going by the logic that we need not worry about something which isn't in our control because we can't do anything about it, we should also be willing to do everything possible to achieve the desired result if it is in our control. More often than not, we will be able to do something about our problems. If I don't like the way I look, I should work out and get into a better shape or I should put in some more effort and dress better. If I don't like my job, I should work harder to improve my skillset and find a better one. If I suck at dancing, I should practice more and get better at it. But then I realise no matter how much I practice dancing, I still suck xD

The end result is not what I desired but I can at least be satisfied that I did whatever I could to achieve it and it was just beyond my ability. That way I don't have any regrets or guilt that I didn't do everything I could. Again, result is just the byproduct of the process.

Trust the process and trust yourself. There will be a lot of comments from people even those you love and respect questioning and criticising your actions. Don't let those comments affect you. You can do that only if you trust yourself that you're doing what is right. If it turns out to be a mistake, you live with it as it was your choice and you don't get to blame anyone else. You reap what you sow. You just learn from it and make sure it doesn't happen again. 

You don't have to like the circumstances you are in but you should be able to judge if it is something under your control or not. If it isn't, there is no point worrying about it. If it is, then do everything you possibly can to change it. Either way, you will be in a better state of mind.